


Letters to my love

by tiny_red_fox



Category: Stray Kids
Genre: Han Jisung/Lee know, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-05 15:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20491181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_red_fox/pseuds/tiny_red_fox
Summary: Jisung can't really pinpoint the moment he fell in love with his best friend, but he knows that from that point everything went downhill. It's been two years since they last talked to each other and Jisung still can't seem to forget him, so he keeps on writing letters even though he never plans on actually sending them.





	1. Letter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, thank you for reading this story! This is my first work on here and I hope I'll be able to update regularly.

Dear Minho,  
I needed you like I needed air to breathe.  
You were there, always constant, always right there for me to reach out to you.   
I knew if I needed support, I could come right to you.  
I trusted you more than I trusted myself.  
I had known you for years.  
You helped me through hard times, but then there is the other side.  
The pain I felt everytime you were with someone else, the pain I felt whenever you did shut me out. It was gut wrenching, I found me asking myself how you could be so blind. How could it be that you never realized how much you meant to me? I tried to distance myself from you because the pain was too much to bear, too much to handle. Of course you got angry, you didn't understand my behaviour, you never did. I was so disgusted with myself, I knew I couldn't stand a chance, you were clearly interested in girls but still... I was always hoping. Now you hate me and, eventhough I wish I couldn't, I can understand why. You tried to be there for me, I know you were hurting because you saw that I was suffering, but I couldn't tell you why I was hurting so badly. I know you felt helpless, watching me decay eventhough I was alive. I was rotting away. I never wanted to lose you but I knew you'd be better off without me. Now we haven't talked in two years and still I keep writing these letters without actually sending them to you because I'm not brave enough for something like that. I just can't let go, because I still love you...  
_Jisung_  



	2. Rain and bittersweet memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not a letter but written out of jisungs point of view instead. I probably will alternate between writing in jisung's POV and writing letters, maybe I will also add some chapters written from minho's POV but I am not sure about this yet. Have fun reading!

I looked up from the letter, which I just finished writing, to look out of the window. Rain kept dripping down the windowpane, as the train kept moving through different landscapes, the distant sound of thunder sounding almost softly while the raindrops kept trickling down on the glass.   
I took a deep breath, I knew it wasn't that long till I would arrive at the train station in my hometown and... I was scared. I was glad to see my family and the friends with whom I went to school, but I knew that I wouldn't be able to see the person that I actually missed the most.   
I knew he wouldn't want to see me and I also knew that it was my fault, that I was the one to blame, the one who did shut him out.   
It wasn't my place to complain and I never did, I accepted the fact that Lee Minho, my former best friend and my first love, hated me.   
I thought about the last time I talked to him, tears welling up almost instantly, even after it had been 2 years or even longer, he confronted me about the fact that I seemed to ignore him. He had been angry and hurt but most of all, he had been confused... and worried about me. I wished I could have told him why I acted like I did, but he was straight and I didn't want him to be disgusted by me.  
I shoved the thought away, carefully folding the paper and putting it in an envelope. I closed the envelope before putting the letter into my bag.   
I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the windowpane, listening to the soft music coming from my earphones and just waited for the train to arrive while my mind filled with bittersweet memories.


End file.
